My Pot Dealer Problem

I don't actually have a pot dealer. In fact, the last time I smoked pot, we had a president who didn't inhale. The last time I inhaled, I shivered as if I were public speaking in the nude, and I was even more self-conscious than I am now. I can be cold enough in Seattle without pot, thank you, and I don't need any help worrying what others think of me.

I was watching MSNBC at the gym today because that’s what liberals do. Tamron Hall was discussing with a guest how a Louisiana man will be going to jail for life because he was convicted a fourth time for intent to sell marijuana, and the overall bent of the segment was that the punishment did not fit the crime and that it’s outrageous to jail a man for life just because he deals marijuana. However, if one takes the time to think this through, it seems pretty reasonable to put this man away.

I have no problem, per se, with casual use of marijuana. I have a suspicion that chronic use can make a smoker lazy and inclined towards COPD, but chronic use of alcohol can make a drinker mean and dangerous. It would be hard to argue that marijuana is more caustic than alcohol, and alcohol is clearly legal. This substance bias is inexplicable on the surface, although conspiracy theories abound that seek to explain the double standard for mind-altering substances. My pragmatism supports the decriminalization of marijuana for all of the logical reasons you could come up with: the opportunity for taxation, the opportunity to make room in prisons for dangerous criminals, and the opportunity to make a Dave Matthews concert more enjoyable. But the Louisiana dealer should be removed from society because he is clearly an idiot; thus, he must be a menace to society.

How, after being caught three times already, do you manage to be caught a fourth time for possession to sell? How do you not hide your two pounds of pot from your parole officer? How, knowing that if you get caught a fourth time you will go to jail, like forever, do you not choose a new vocation in life? Dude, seriously, put this guy in jail now. Otherwise he’s just going to text while driving, blow his fingers off on the fourth of July, or run with scissors.